Feeling nothing after someone has died can seem scary to a child, particularly if everyone else is so upset. A child may take a while; perhaps weeks or months, to begin to feel upset, then their grief will come out. Gradually, the child may calm down. It can be hard for them to realise that death is permanent, that you have to live the rest of your life without that person.
It is normal to worry about the future and who will look after them. They may find themselves talking to the person who has died or thinking that they are seeing them – adults can also do this when they are grieving.
Some children may feel angry or cross without knowing why. Sometimes adults may respond by getting angry back with the child, which can make things worse. It is natural to feel like this when someone close has died. Feeling angry for no particular reason is normal. There may not be a reason, or it may be that the child feels it is unfair that someone has died and left them. They may blame the doctors and nurses who cared for the person, thinking they did not do enough.
They may blame the person themselves, for example, if they died due to a smoking related illness, or crashed their car etc. They may feel angry because no one explained to them what has happened. They may be too afraid to ask or scared about what has happened to their loved one when they have died.
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