1-Sense of Universality
Death affects us all. It is a natural phenomenon affecting all living organisms. Some teenagers will become obsessed with making contributions to the world by which they will be remembered. Others will an interest in religion, including cults and alternative religions. The acceptance of the universality of death seems to result when the teenager is more able to engage in abstract thought. The death of someone their age will affirm the possibility that they could also die. A response that may occur to this is to glorify death or the deceased person.
2-Feeling Remoteness of Death
Many teenagers will consider that death is something that happens to older people and feel that death will not affect them in the near future.
So, they may seem blasé and almost callous when hearing that someone who is not close to them has died. However, if someone close to them dies, this will affect how remote they feel death is to them. Accepting the death of another young person is particularly difficult for them.
Tears are a natural part of the grieving process. If a teenager doesn’t cry, it doesn’t mean that the grief is not there. By crying or showing emotion, the teenager may feel that they are standing out or different to their peers, so may try to conceal their emotions. They may be grieving in private. Even though a teenager may be striving for independence, they will still need support and to be able to cry.
They may move between understanding death and also believing in immortality.
We already discussed briefly above that teenagers may show behaviour problems that are not recognised by adults as part of the grief process. Teenagers may have a tendency to “strike out” in anger. They may not understand the grief process or have a safe place to let out their feelings, so violent or reckless behaviour can occur. Research has shown that over 95% of teenagers incarcerated in juvenile facilities had experienced a death of someone close to them. Society teaches us that anger is an emotion we should suppress, thereby teaching us that anger is not a “normal” emotion.
Teenagers may also turn to substance abuse as part of the grieving process – to heal their pain and hurt. When teenagers are grieving, they may naturally want to numb the pain, get drunk or high so they do not have to feel. Bereaved teenagers are at high risk of involving themselves in self-destructive behaviour. The drugs may temporarily numb the pain, but this will complicate and prolong the grieving process.
When hearing news of a death, adolescents’ will initially be mainly concerned about how it will affect them. How they will appear in other people’s eyes, how it will affect their routine and so on. They may feel ill at ease about offering sympathy and condolences to others.
It is not unusual for a teenager to become sexually active during the grief process. If they have lost a family member, they may feel that other family members are not there for them as they are also in pain. They may want someone close to them, physically and emotionally, so sexual activity can serve as a distraction from pain.
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