Knowing that something terrible can happen “out of the blue” can make people very fearful. This is especially true when a family member feels unsafe and often reminds others about possible dangers. Very often, trauma survivors feel “on edge” and become preoccupied with trying to stay safe. They may want to get a guard dog, or put up security lights, or have weapons in the house in order to protect themselves and their family members. When one person in a family is very worried about safety, it can make everyone else feel unsafe too. However, something that helps one person feel safe-like a loaded weapon under the bed-may make another person feel unsafe.
Family members can also experience fear when the trauma survivor is angry or aggressive. As described above, trauma survivors can become angry and aggressive automatically if they feel they are in danger. Trauma survivors may also become angry and aggressive because they are frustrated that they have trauma symptoms, or because they learned to be aggressive as a way to protect themselves in the trauma situation. No matter what the reason for the anger and aggression, it naturally makes family members fearful.
Many trauma symptoms can cause family members to worry. A wife might worry that her traumatized husband who becomes angry and violent at the least provocation will be injured in a fight or get in trouble with the police. A daughter may worry that her mother will make herself ill by drinking heavily as a result of a traumatic event. A man’s inability to keep a job because of trauma-related problems may cause his family to worry constantly about money and the future.
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