Family members can feel guilt or shame after a traumatic event for a number of reasons. A family member may experience these feelings if he or she feels responsible for the trauma.
For instance, a husband whose wife is assaulted may feel guilt or shame because he was unable to protect her from the attack. A wife may feel responsible for her husband’s car accident if she thinks she could have prevented it if she had gotten the car’s brakes fixed. A family member may feel guilt and shame if he or she feels responsible for the trauma survivor’s happiness or general well-being but sees no improvement no matter how hard he or she tries to help.
Sometimes, after years of trauma-related problems in a family, a family member may learn about post-traumatic stress disorder and realize that this is the source of their family problems. The family member may then feel guilty that he or she was unsupported during the years.
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